ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
