yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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