i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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