I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
