Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
