This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
