i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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