Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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