Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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