either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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