let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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