How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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