There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
