Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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