he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
