I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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