I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize