he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
