meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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