Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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