Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
