3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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