I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
