i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
