i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
