i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
