I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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