Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
