the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
