Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
