Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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