Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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