your thong is hanging out like whoa
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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