Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
