thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
