he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
