im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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