if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
