She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
