I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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