she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
