This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
