If i come over, it means nothing
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
