ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
