Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
