Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
