I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
