I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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