I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
