We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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