Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
