Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
