So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
