i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
