I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize