i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
