Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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