Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
