Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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