in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
