just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
