You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
did you just send me my own nude
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