New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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